HOW ACNE HAS AFFECTED MY LIFE
When I first started getting Acne I remember the hours I would spend being upset over it, picking at my skin, crying and hating it. I would wear a full face of makeup to go to the gym because I was embarrassed. I remember one time, I even put on foundation to go downstairs at my parents house. You wouldn’t have caught me dead going ANYWHERE without makeup on.
"I EVEN PUT ON FOUNDATION TO GO DOWNSTAIRS AT MY PARENTS HOUSE"
But it wasn’t just that. What people who have never had to deal with any type of skin issue don’t understand is how big of a toll it can take on your life, your happiness, your self esteem, and your overall mindset. It’s more than just skin deep. It can make you feel less than, ugly, gross, unloveable. It can strip you of all of your confidence and make you not want to leave your house. It can make you cancel plans with friends, make excuses as to why you can’t come to the party or go swimming and it can make you avoid people in fear of being stared at or judged. It has definitely done all of the above for me. When you let it, acne will impact you in all areas of your life because it is such a visible thing you can’t really hide. It makes you vulnerable, an easy target for the trolls.
When I first started breaking out after going of my birth control I was in a relationship and I remember sleeping in my makeup so he wouldn’t see my skin. I was scared of him thinking I was not attractive anymore and of him not wanting to be with me because of my acne. When I finally did let him see me without makeup on (which didn’t kill me just fyi) I remember actually apologizing to him for my skin. I said, and I quote, “My face looks disgusting I’m sorry, I apologize for that." Actual exact words that came out of my mouth.
This is what acne will do to you. It will make you question yourself and the people around you. It made me question my worth and whether or not I was worthy of love.
When people ask me how I’m so confident with my acne and my scars and hyperpigmentation I always tell them it’s a journey. It was a long journey for me and it continues to be one. I don’t always feel confident, I still have my days where I look in the mirror and get upset. I still question myself, get down on myself and throw myself pity parties. It’s not about always feeling on top of the world, it’s about knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s about knowing that you are not alone and it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling.