I was thirteen when my skin first began to break out. It was overwhelming - my whole face was covered in cystic breakouts that were painful. When I went to my dermatologist, she told me I had cystic acne, and right away I was put on several different products at once to try and clear my breakouts. No one else around me seemed to be struggling in the same way that I was. People I didn’t even know would point out my breakouts to me. It made me ashamed and embarrassed to show my face without makeup, so I would often wake up before everyone else during sleepovers just to put on foundation. I refused to let anyone see my skin in its natural state.
"I WOULD OFTEN WAKE UP BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE DURING SLEEPOVERS JUST TO PUT ON FOUNDATION."
I’ve always been extremely passionate and driven, but my acne has always held me back from pursuing my dreams. I would always tell myself: “I’ll do that when my skin is clear.” I was so desperate to get clear skin. So following the advice of doctors I’ve seen, I’ve now been on isotretinoin six times in my life already. It never worked permanently for me — my breakouts have come back every single time. I am twenty one years old now, and I still deal with cystic acne.
Taking heavy medication for most of my teenage life has not come without its side effects — I now deal with a few different digestion problems. Because of this, I have taken more of a natural approach to skincare - opting out of taking medication for my overall bodily health and instead going for skincare products that would help to nourish and heal my skin, like ROSEN Skincare’s line. I realized that being kind to my body overall was just as important as taking care of the skin on my face. Dealing with acne can be an extremely long journey: it’s important to be patient with your body and understanding of its many ups and downs.
As I got older, I became way more accepting of my breakouts and realized I was the only one holding myself back. I was the only one still imposing these beauty standards of perfect glass skin on myself, because I still thought people wouldn’t like me if they knew the truth about my skin. But it’s important to remember that these thoughts only existed in my mind, and those that truly support me never changed their mind once I bared it all. And when I became confident and freed my skin, my mental state greatly improved as well. I now feel completely comfortable showing my skin. I am proud that I’ve come this far with it. I will never ever hide it again. I will never let a breakout hold me back from pursuing my dreams.
I hope I can show other people that this is possible for them too. My hopes are that through sharing my skin diaries on youtube for those struggling, we can all come together and free our skin and minds.